Sometimes the hypocrisy is so blinding it boggles the imagination. Monday, the White House sent a presidential Boeing 747 flying over Manhattan for a photo op. Let us try and forget the insensitivity of having a large plane with fighter jets behind it screaming through New York City in mid-morning. I want to focus on something else.
Note to President Obama; if you want to run General Motors, you can’t use your corporate jet for a photo op. Can you imagine the reaction from the Obama Administration if former GM CEO Rick Wagoner had sent GM 1 on a photo op flight over the Statue of Liberty using taxpayer dollars? Disdain? Anger? Outrage?
And where are our pals in the mainstream media? The silence is deafening.
The budget deficit for 2009 will be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1.8 trillion dollars. I submit that the only difference between GM and the federal government is that GM cannot print its own currency.
Here is a money saving tip for the Obama Administration, get Photoshop. Once you buy it, you can create pictures that have Air Force One flying over the following;
The Taj Mahal
The Kennedy Compound
Disney World
Madonna
Waldo
Al Gore’s house
Cuba
Keith Olbermann’s ego
And it will all be free. Look into it Mr. President!
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, March 23, 2009
Snark News Update.....
A German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama Fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a tasty curry sauce. The company says it was unaware of the possible racist overtones of the product.
My question is, when have the Germans ever been accused of racism?????
A spokesman for the company said “We have vays of making you eat our Obama Fingers!!”
Reports indicate that there is a New rise of fascism in Austria...In Austria's recent general election, nearly 30 percent of voters backed extremist right-wing parties. No word yet, if this has anything to do with Obama fingers...
Seattle will be a one-newspaper town after Tuesday, when the 146-year-old Seattle Post-Intelligencer prints its last edition. It will continue to live on the internet with a much smaller staff. Just what we need, another liberal blog…
In New York, Governor Paterson said he does not support a proposed $10 tax on patrons of nude and semi-nude dance clubs and bars. He stated that the law would overburden poor working women and the Kennedy Family..
In Illinois, a judge ruled a suburban Chicago homeless man can't run for a seat on a village board because he doesn't have an address. However, the man is still allowed to smell like urine and drink liquor out of a mason jar….
My question is, when have the Germans ever been accused of racism?????
A spokesman for the company said “We have vays of making you eat our Obama Fingers!!”
Reports indicate that there is a New rise of fascism in Austria...In Austria's recent general election, nearly 30 percent of voters backed extremist right-wing parties. No word yet, if this has anything to do with Obama fingers...
Seattle will be a one-newspaper town after Tuesday, when the 146-year-old Seattle Post-Intelligencer prints its last edition. It will continue to live on the internet with a much smaller staff. Just what we need, another liberal blog…
In New York, Governor Paterson said he does not support a proposed $10 tax on patrons of nude and semi-nude dance clubs and bars. He stated that the law would overburden poor working women and the Kennedy Family..
In Illinois, a judge ruled a suburban Chicago homeless man can't run for a seat on a village board because he doesn't have an address. However, the man is still allowed to smell like urine and drink liquor out of a mason jar….
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
New Era of Responsibility
We were saddened to see Tom Daschle withdraw his nomination on Tuesday to be President Obama's Health and Human Services Secretary. Many people have been making fun of a couple of President Obama’s Cabinet nominees because they failed to pay a small percentage of their income taxes. We here at 1 Hour Martinizing are above such folly.
We got a direct message on Twitter from a high ranking member of the Obama Administration. I can’t say his name, but it rhymes with Dom Himmanugel. He gave us the name of the new nominee for Health and Human Services Secretary. We were assured that he has a better track record with the IRS than Daschle. We wish Mr. Wesley Snipes the best of luck.
On the lighter side of the news, President Obama was on NBC again. He said he “screwed up” by nominating a couple of people to serve on his cabinet who forgot to pay their taxes. In a show of solidarity, NBC released a statement claiming that it too has screwed up before, and is sorry for the following;
MSNBC
Clash of the Choirs
Veronica’s Closet
Mad About You
Freeks & Geeks
DAG
The Michael Richards Show
The XFL
American Gladiators (with Hulk Hogan)
Average Joe
The Apprentice (Martha Stewart)
The Book of Daniel
Joey
Celebrity Cooking Showdown
Imus in the Morning
The Real Wedding Crashers
Jay Leno
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Thank God You’re Here
Grease: You’re the One That I Want
Fear Factor
Tucker Carlson
My Own Worst Enemy
Lipstick Jungle
Rosie Live!!!!
Knight Rider (Remake)
Keith Olbermann
And for canceling Alf.
This truly is a new era of responsibility…..
We got a direct message on Twitter from a high ranking member of the Obama Administration. I can’t say his name, but it rhymes with Dom Himmanugel. He gave us the name of the new nominee for Health and Human Services Secretary. We were assured that he has a better track record with the IRS than Daschle. We wish Mr. Wesley Snipes the best of luck.
On the lighter side of the news, President Obama was on NBC again. He said he “screwed up” by nominating a couple of people to serve on his cabinet who forgot to pay their taxes. In a show of solidarity, NBC released a statement claiming that it too has screwed up before, and is sorry for the following;
MSNBC
Clash of the Choirs
Veronica’s Closet
Mad About You
Freeks & Geeks
DAG
The Michael Richards Show
The XFL
American Gladiators (with Hulk Hogan)
Average Joe
The Apprentice (Martha Stewart)
The Book of Daniel
Joey
Celebrity Cooking Showdown
Imus in the Morning
The Real Wedding Crashers
Jay Leno
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
Thank God You’re Here
Grease: You’re the One That I Want
Fear Factor
Tucker Carlson
My Own Worst Enemy
Lipstick Jungle
Rosie Live!!!!
Knight Rider (Remake)
Keith Olbermann
And for canceling Alf.
This truly is a new era of responsibility…..
Monday, February 2, 2009
The Super Bowl Lauer/Obama Interview, The Anti-Frost/Nixon
Well it was that time of year again, the Super Bowl. We here at 1 Hour Martinizing decided to take a day off from doing our research in our continuing effort to bring you the best political commentary in our nation’s history. It was not an easy decision; we know how much we mean to you. However, we are all human, and the hundreds of people that bring you 1 Hour Martinizing needed to let loose. The 1 Hour Martinizing Super Bowl party was off the hook y'all!
We thought it would be a day without politics. That came crashing to a halt during hour 16 of the NBC Super Bowl Pre-Game Show, when Matt Lauer interviewed President Obama, live!
At that point, we knew that our hard earned break had come to an end. This is NBC and Matt Lauer, interviewing President Obama. We figured it would be entertaining and we were not disappointed. Here is a partial transcript from the interview. I must confess that none of us had a pen or notebook; it was a Super Bowl party remember? This is what we heard and how we remember the interview.
Matt Lauer: Good evening Mr. President.
President Obama: Hello Matt.
Matt Lauer: (looking into the camera) Oh my God he called me Matt! This is too cool!
President Obama: Relax Matt. We have done this before. And will you please stop trying to hump my leg.
Matt: But I did it during the whole campaign, why stop now?
President Obama: It’s not Presidential Matt, will you please just start the interview.
Matt: Sorry Mr. President. May I call you President Awesome?
President Obama: Sure Matt, whatever makes you comfortable.
Matt: President Awesome, what makes you so awesome?
President Obama: Matt, it’s important that we get the stimulus package passed.
Matt: You received not one Republican vote in the House last week? Why do the Republicans suck?
President Awesome: Matt, that was close to a real question, and I told you earlier I will not answer a real question.
Matt: You had me at hello.
President Awesome: This interview is over.
Matt: I wish I knew how to quit you.
President Awesome: Okay now you have to go.
It gets a little fuzzy after that because we stopped caring, but that is how we remember it. If you missed it, President Awesome will be on the Today Show tomorrow.
We thought it would be a day without politics. That came crashing to a halt during hour 16 of the NBC Super Bowl Pre-Game Show, when Matt Lauer interviewed President Obama, live!
At that point, we knew that our hard earned break had come to an end. This is NBC and Matt Lauer, interviewing President Obama. We figured it would be entertaining and we were not disappointed. Here is a partial transcript from the interview. I must confess that none of us had a pen or notebook; it was a Super Bowl party remember? This is what we heard and how we remember the interview.
Matt Lauer: Good evening Mr. President.
President Obama: Hello Matt.
Matt Lauer: (looking into the camera) Oh my God he called me Matt! This is too cool!
President Obama: Relax Matt. We have done this before. And will you please stop trying to hump my leg.
Matt: But I did it during the whole campaign, why stop now?
President Obama: It’s not Presidential Matt, will you please just start the interview.
Matt: Sorry Mr. President. May I call you President Awesome?
President Obama: Sure Matt, whatever makes you comfortable.
Matt: President Awesome, what makes you so awesome?
President Obama: Matt, it’s important that we get the stimulus package passed.
Matt: You received not one Republican vote in the House last week? Why do the Republicans suck?
President Awesome: Matt, that was close to a real question, and I told you earlier I will not answer a real question.
Matt: You had me at hello.
President Awesome: This interview is over.
Matt: I wish I knew how to quit you.
President Awesome: Okay now you have to go.
It gets a little fuzzy after that because we stopped caring, but that is how we remember it. If you missed it, President Awesome will be on the Today Show tomorrow.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Very Simulating
The staff at 1 Hour Martinizing has been working tirelessly to read every single page of the 900 billion dollar Obama Stimulus Package. By “working tirelessly” I mean, reading this bill makes us sleepy; which means we are actually tired, so we aren’t working tirelessly.
After reading the first part of it, we have renamed it the Stimulus Undermining Capitalism pacKage, or SUCK. What? There is a K in package…..
The following spending items are contained in SUCK.
650 Million dollars for Digital TV Coupons.
21 Million dollars for sod.
500 Million dollars to find the Lindbergh baby. *
32 Million dollars for Silly String at Congressional Parties. *
1.6 Billion dollars to purchase Gloria Vanderbilt perfume and Aquanet hairspray for the Speaker of the House. *
32 dollars for a bitchin Governor Blagojevich wig for Senator Harry Reid. *
1.8 billion dollars allocated to a Pez plant in Seattle.*
5 Bucks for you. *
300 Million dollars for research to create a recipe for “Spanish Fly.” *
We were also very disappointed to hear that in a meeting with Congressional Republicans; President Obama said “ You need to stop listening to 1 Hour Martinizing if you want to get things done.”
At first we were quite upset, until a source inside the meeting reminded us that Congressional Republicans rarely listen to conservatives.
* I made these up, but a study done by Michigan State University concluded that my made up plan is not any dumber than the actual plan, and would be just as effective to stimulate the economy.
After reading the first part of it, we have renamed it the Stimulus Undermining Capitalism pacKage, or SUCK. What? There is a K in package…..
The following spending items are contained in SUCK.
650 Million dollars for Digital TV Coupons.
21 Million dollars for sod.
500 Million dollars to find the Lindbergh baby. *
32 Million dollars for Silly String at Congressional Parties. *
1.6 Billion dollars to purchase Gloria Vanderbilt perfume and Aquanet hairspray for the Speaker of the House. *
32 dollars for a bitchin Governor Blagojevich wig for Senator Harry Reid. *
1.8 billion dollars allocated to a Pez plant in Seattle.*
5 Bucks for you. *
300 Million dollars for research to create a recipe for “Spanish Fly.” *
We were also very disappointed to hear that in a meeting with Congressional Republicans; President Obama said “ You need to stop listening to 1 Hour Martinizing if you want to get things done.”
At first we were quite upset, until a source inside the meeting reminded us that Congressional Republicans rarely listen to conservatives.
* I made these up, but a study done by Michigan State University concluded that my made up plan is not any dumber than the actual plan, and would be just as effective to stimulate the economy.
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