Monday, March 23, 2009
Snark News Update.....
A German frozen food company hopes to raise sales with a new product: Obama Fingers. The tender, fried chicken bits come with a tasty curry sauce. The company says it was unaware of the possible racist overtones of the product.
My question is, when have the Germans ever been accused of racism?????
A spokesman for the company said “We have vays of making you eat our Obama Fingers!!”
Reports indicate that there is a New rise of fascism in Austria...In Austria's recent general election, nearly 30 percent of voters backed extremist right-wing parties. No word yet, if this has anything to do with Obama fingers...
Seattle will be a one-newspaper town after Tuesday, when the 146-year-old Seattle Post-Intelligencer prints its last edition. It will continue to live on the internet with a much smaller staff. Just what we need, another liberal blog…
In New York, Governor Paterson said he does not support a proposed $10 tax on patrons of nude and semi-nude dance clubs and bars. He stated that the law would overburden poor working women and the Kennedy Family..
In Illinois, a judge ruled a suburban Chicago homeless man can't run for a seat on a village board because he doesn't have an address. However, the man is still allowed to smell like urine and drink liquor out of a mason jar….
My question is, when have the Germans ever been accused of racism?????
A spokesman for the company said “We have vays of making you eat our Obama Fingers!!”
Reports indicate that there is a New rise of fascism in Austria...In Austria's recent general election, nearly 30 percent of voters backed extremist right-wing parties. No word yet, if this has anything to do with Obama fingers...
Seattle will be a one-newspaper town after Tuesday, when the 146-year-old Seattle Post-Intelligencer prints its last edition. It will continue to live on the internet with a much smaller staff. Just what we need, another liberal blog…
In New York, Governor Paterson said he does not support a proposed $10 tax on patrons of nude and semi-nude dance clubs and bars. He stated that the law would overburden poor working women and the Kennedy Family..
In Illinois, a judge ruled a suburban Chicago homeless man can't run for a seat on a village board because he doesn't have an address. However, the man is still allowed to smell like urine and drink liquor out of a mason jar….
Friday, March 20, 2009
Snark Pop Culture.....
According to Yahoo news, Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new boyfriend. Snark news reports that the guy is beneath her and kind of a loser, because he’s not me…….
Jessica Simpson ended her tour last night in Irvine California. During her performance, she forgot the words to 2 or her songs and stopped singing. The crowd reacted to this by giving her a standing ovation…..
According to The New York Daily News', R&B star Rihanna had multiple meetings for potential features while in New York, one of which is a remake of the lousy 1992 Kevin Costner movie "Bodyguard,"
Not to be outdone by another Diva, Britney Spears announced she would star in a remake of Waterworld.
Beverly Hills police said an arrest warrant has been issued for actress Lindsay Lohan that stems from her 2007 conviction for drunken driving. Lohan spent 84 minutes behind bars in November 2007 for a drunken driving and cocaine possession conviction.
That is a weird coincidence, because whenever I watch a Lindsay Lohan movie, I too feel like I am in jail for 84 minutes…
According to TwitterCounter.com's top 100 list, Britney Spears and Ashton Kutcher are almost as popular as Barack Obama and CNN's Breaking News page. To learn more about this story, go to www.I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork.com……
Jessica Simpson ended her tour last night in Irvine California. During her performance, she forgot the words to 2 or her songs and stopped singing. The crowd reacted to this by giving her a standing ovation…..
According to The New York Daily News', R&B star Rihanna had multiple meetings for potential features while in New York, one of which is a remake of the lousy 1992 Kevin Costner movie "Bodyguard,"
Not to be outdone by another Diva, Britney Spears announced she would star in a remake of Waterworld.
Beverly Hills police said an arrest warrant has been issued for actress Lindsay Lohan that stems from her 2007 conviction for drunken driving. Lohan spent 84 minutes behind bars in November 2007 for a drunken driving and cocaine possession conviction.
That is a weird coincidence, because whenever I watch a Lindsay Lohan movie, I too feel like I am in jail for 84 minutes…
According to TwitterCounter.com's top 100 list, Britney Spears and Ashton Kutcher are almost as popular as Barack Obama and CNN's Breaking News page. To learn more about this story, go to www.I want to stab myself in the eye with a fork.com……
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey, Blog Header, Other Stuff
The Snark Factor was in Florida for a week. The blog was ignored. The show was not up to snuff. But none the less we press on. I have been asked about the pictures on my blog. Did I really share a smoke with Obama? No, that was the handy work of my cousin Joe LaDuke. Thanks Joe.....
We will now run full force blogging, radio showing, and dominating any other form of media that I come across.
This is the transcript from our sponsor's commercial. Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey is a proud sponsor of The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy!
Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey
(Voice of an old man who seems confused)
Greetings and salutations. Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey is a proud sponsor of the Snark Factory with Fingers Malloy….
Ahhh this music takes me back to a time when I would get excited to see Betty Grable’s ankle, and when we didn’t have a pinko commie in the White House…
Normally, most things piss me off naturally. Why did Murder She Wrote go off the air? Why can’t I find Waldo? Why can’t I buy Frankie Valli records at K-Mart anymore?
But when I need an extra boost to full blown rage, I grab a nice warm glass of Pissed off Old Guy Whiskey. It kills the little inner joy I have left, and propels me to cut up the neighborhood kid’s Nerf footballs when they land in my yard…
So, if you want feel like an old coot without all the chafing, have a nice tall glass of Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey today.
Warning, drinking Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey causes temporary blindness in lab rats.
We will now run full force blogging, radio showing, and dominating any other form of media that I come across.
This is the transcript from our sponsor's commercial. Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey is a proud sponsor of The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy!
Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey
(Voice of an old man who seems confused)
Greetings and salutations. Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey is a proud sponsor of the Snark Factory with Fingers Malloy….
Ahhh this music takes me back to a time when I would get excited to see Betty Grable’s ankle, and when we didn’t have a pinko commie in the White House…
Normally, most things piss me off naturally. Why did Murder She Wrote go off the air? Why can’t I find Waldo? Why can’t I buy Frankie Valli records at K-Mart anymore?
But when I need an extra boost to full blown rage, I grab a nice warm glass of Pissed off Old Guy Whiskey. It kills the little inner joy I have left, and propels me to cut up the neighborhood kid’s Nerf footballs when they land in my yard…
So, if you want feel like an old coot without all the chafing, have a nice tall glass of Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey today.
Warning, drinking Pissed Off Old Guy Whiskey causes temporary blindness in lab rats.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Snark News....
President Obama this week got together with Congressional Democrats and talked about the importance of fiscal responsibility… In a related story, Amy Winehouse spoke to 300 English soccer hooligans on the importance of sobriety.
A man driving in Oklahoma City was pulled over by a police officer on Wednesday, after the officer observed an anti-Obama sign hanging on the man’s car. The officer later said that he was certain the driver was not an Obama supporter, because the car also had a bumper sticker that read, “I pay my taxes and mortgage on time.”
The Canadian Air Force sent 2 C-18 fighters to intercept an approaching Russian bomber, less than 24 hours before President Obama's visit to Ottawa. The C-18 fighter plane replaced the Canadian Air Force’s previous fighter jet, the C-17 a guy on a hang glider with a Red Ryder BB Gun…… Fighter jet…..
A Canadian Defense Minister said that they take their sovereignty very seriously, and will defend it. A Russian Government spokesman said “Awe, Canada thinks it’s a real country.”
There is still considerable buzz regarding House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's meeting with Pope Benedict. After leaving the Vatican, Pelosi was heard saying “If this whole Catholic Religion thing tanks, this place would make a beautiful Planned Parenthood.”
The Washington Post accidentally published a photo that showed the phone number of one of President Obama’s speech writers. Upon calling the number, it transfers you right to Keith Olbermann’s voice mail. I kid, Keith doesn’t even write for his own show.
A man driving in Oklahoma City was pulled over by a police officer on Wednesday, after the officer observed an anti-Obama sign hanging on the man’s car. The officer later said that he was certain the driver was not an Obama supporter, because the car also had a bumper sticker that read, “I pay my taxes and mortgage on time.”
The Canadian Air Force sent 2 C-18 fighters to intercept an approaching Russian bomber, less than 24 hours before President Obama's visit to Ottawa. The C-18 fighter plane replaced the Canadian Air Force’s previous fighter jet, the C-17 a guy on a hang glider with a Red Ryder BB Gun…… Fighter jet…..
A Canadian Defense Minister said that they take their sovereignty very seriously, and will defend it. A Russian Government spokesman said “Awe, Canada thinks it’s a real country.”
There is still considerable buzz regarding House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's meeting with Pope Benedict. After leaving the Vatican, Pelosi was heard saying “If this whole Catholic Religion thing tanks, this place would make a beautiful Planned Parenthood.”
The Washington Post accidentally published a photo that showed the phone number of one of President Obama’s speech writers. Upon calling the number, it transfers you right to Keith Olbermann’s voice mail. I kid, Keith doesn’t even write for his own show.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Beer Commercial......
Our sponsor on The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy is beer. Beer is the official drink of The Snark Factor. Here is a transcript of our beer ad......
MMMMMM Beer........
For too long, beer has been blamed for the lack of intelligent political debate and discussions at bars by drunken idiots.
Beer is a proud sponsor of The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy. We hope that it will elevate our reputation.
Remember:
We didn't come up with the theory that 9/11 was an inside job.
We aren't the ones that said Bush stole the election.
Beer didn't make people think Mark Fuhrman planted the bloody glove. That was all stupid people.
You see.... Beer doesn't make people stupid, public schools do.
So remember what we are here for; to give you an over inflated feeling of self worth and to make ugly people more attractive.
So drink a 12 pack of beer today. It may make Janeane Garofalo look pretty. *
* Warning! Beer is not responsible for the contents of this ad and may not make Janeane Garofalo look pretty....
MMMMMM Beer........
For too long, beer has been blamed for the lack of intelligent political debate and discussions at bars by drunken idiots.
Beer is a proud sponsor of The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy. We hope that it will elevate our reputation.
Remember:
We didn't come up with the theory that 9/11 was an inside job.
We aren't the ones that said Bush stole the election.
Beer didn't make people think Mark Fuhrman planted the bloody glove. That was all stupid people.
You see.... Beer doesn't make people stupid, public schools do.
So remember what we are here for; to give you an over inflated feeling of self worth and to make ugly people more attractive.
So drink a 12 pack of beer today. It may make Janeane Garofalo look pretty. *
* Warning! Beer is not responsible for the contents of this ad and may not make Janeane Garofalo look pretty....
Monday, March 9, 2009
What is The Snark Factor???? Tuesdays @ 5 on RFC Radio..
I have never really described what The Snark Factor is going to be like. The best way to describe it is do what my buddy at Duke over America did and post the show description from the RFC Radio home page.......
Imagine a radio show that combines the writing style of Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update with the satirical commentary of The Daily Show.
The difference between these shows and The Snark Factor is that this radio show will be written from a right wing point of view. And it will all be jam-packed into 30 minutes.
How is this possible?
Three words:Fingers Malloy!!
Before joining RFC Radio, Fingers was a comedian; a community organizer; a former beauty pageant contestant in Alaska; a plumber in Ohio; a nominee for President Obama’s Secretary of Awesome; the real Batman; and, thanks to the Patriot Act, he recently illegally wire-tapped your phone calls from a Starbucks in York, Pennsylvania (that last one is for all the paranoid liberals).
So there it is, listen to it Tuesdays at 5PM at www.rfcradio.com
Imagine a radio show that combines the writing style of Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update with the satirical commentary of The Daily Show.
The difference between these shows and The Snark Factor is that this radio show will be written from a right wing point of view. And it will all be jam-packed into 30 minutes.
How is this possible?
Three words:Fingers Malloy!!
Before joining RFC Radio, Fingers was a comedian; a community organizer; a former beauty pageant contestant in Alaska; a plumber in Ohio; a nominee for President Obama’s Secretary of Awesome; the real Batman; and, thanks to the Patriot Act, he recently illegally wire-tapped your phone calls from a Starbucks in York, Pennsylvania (that last one is for all the paranoid liberals).
So there it is, listen to it Tuesdays at 5PM at www.rfcradio.com
Friday, March 6, 2009
The Launch of FingersMalloy.com and The Snark Factor!
OK gang. I have been away for a while and with good reason. I have been developing a radio show for WWW.RFCRADIO.COM. For those of you that don't know, that is a new online radio station. RFC stands for Radio for Conservatives. The first show is Tuesday, March 10th at 5 PM. I am excited to get started.
The show is called The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy. Look for it at WWW.RFCRADIO.COM, every Tuesday at 5 PM. From my site, click on the RFC Radio widget and you can listen to the station that way as well.
I also am the proud new owner of WWW.FINGERSMALLOY.COM, which is why there have been some changes to my page. You can access everything you see here on the new domain.
More changes are coming soon. I will blog more, post show content and hopefully one day podcast The Snark Factor. Until then listen to RFC Radio(especially Tuesdays at 5 PM!)
The show is called The Snark Factor with Fingers Malloy. Look for it at WWW.RFCRADIO.COM, every Tuesday at 5 PM. From my site, click on the RFC Radio widget and you can listen to the station that way as well.
I also am the proud new owner of WWW.FINGERSMALLOY.COM, which is why there have been some changes to my page. You can access everything you see here on the new domain.
More changes are coming soon. I will blog more, post show content and hopefully one day podcast The Snark Factor. Until then listen to RFC Radio(especially Tuesdays at 5 PM!)
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